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NEWS: All Hoomanz Are Dead


Bad news, dudes. It’s over for the human race. You know how we watched all those apocalyptic movies, thinking that we’d seen enough to survive, not like the stupid characters who would always split up and bumble into trouble. Idiots, we wouldn’t go on like that. Turns out, however, that sitting on your bum shouting at the tv screen doesn’t give you the skills to survive the end of the world. Who knew, right?

Can you guess the cause of our downfall? Yep, AI. How many times were we warned about this? And nobody listened. Some people, honestly. Fear not - animals may yet save the planet (we always knew they were better than us)...

ALL HOOMANZ ARE DEAD is a cooperative dungeon-crawling board game for 1-5 players ages 12+, where each person plays as a cybernetically enhanced animal against a common enemy called S.I.M.O.N., the ultimate Artificial Intelligence that turned against its creators and decimated the entire human scientists from a high-tech lab with a genetically engineered VIRUS.

The game objective is to stop S.I.M.O.N. before time runs out, which requires players to cooperate, gain skills and equip the best weapons found throughout the game. The game lasts for about 1.5 hours of tension, action and adventure, as the board gets revealed piece by piece ("room" tiles), each step bringing a surprise consequence. Fight monsters, gather treasures, survive random events, but at all costs avoid allowing S.I.M.O.N. to take over the world!

Choose your character. Perhaps you’ll go for Luke, the soldier dog who’s highly skilled with guns and ideal for combat situations. Or maybe you’ll take Slick, the hacker rat who can bypass locked doors and security cameras. The base game also features a hunter, a medic and a technomancer (ooh, yes please to that). Gear up from an initial selection of 15 cards split between the available players. Your inventory can hold up to ten cards, and there’s a variety of items and weapons to beef up your attack and defence stats. Then you advance into the lab, exploring as you go, clearing rooms of enemies, collecting loot to upgrade your abilities. There’s plenty of surprises to discover, there’s enemy drones, there’s a helipad out there somewhere, the ability to craft a bomb, and more. Beware, as S.I.M.O.N. will also upgrade, becoming more powerful with every turn.

Head on over to where you can find out more and get a more in-depth look at the game’s great artwork. You can also sign up to their newsletter for more updates as the game reaches completion and a Kickstarter launch in the near future.

Speaking of Kickstarter, you could do the team a big favour and take a look at their draft Kickstarter page here: ALL HOOMANZ ARE DEAD, the Board Game — Kickstarter. Bear in mind this is not the final page, but the team are open to feedback and are working hard to get this project as sharp as possible. You can also follow them on Instagram:

Final note - in their quest to defeat S.I.M.O.N. these cybernetically enhanced animals eat noodles to gain strength. Can’t blame them. Who doesn’t like a noodle?